Find out more about our resources
Here are some more about our resources. Please find out a bit more about our activities and resources.
Top 10 Tips on how to reduce difficult and dangerous behaviour
This is a series of ten very short videos, each one around five minutes long, which look at different aspects of how to help and support children and young people who have difficult and dangerous behaviours. They are short enough to watch them back-to-back in under an hour, and taken together they can provide you with the information you need to start the process of helping your child to move beyond their extreme behaviour episodes and towards much happier and more hopeful times ahead.
Violent and Challenging Behaviour – The Basics
This explains in 30 easy-to-follow numbered points, exactly why children and young people can develop difficult and dangerous behaviour, as well as sharing lots of tips about how to help them to get back on track.
This is not your fault
When a child’s behaviour becomes unpredictable, dangerous and volatile, it’s very common that parents get blamed and judged which is very unfair, because this sort of anxiety-led behaviour is not a parent’s fault, and it’s not a child’s fault either. Being wrongly and continually blamed and judged can cause serious damage to a parent’s confidence, their emotional well-being, their mental health and their self-esteem. This is particularly tough because it happens at the very same time they need to be at their best and their most resilient to be able to lead their child past these very difficult behaviours. This explains why it’s not your fault, nor is it your child’s fault, and it may help to put into perspective all the hurt and harm done to you by other people assuming it was
15 Resilience Tips for Parents of SEND children with difficult and dangerous behaviour
These are written especially for parents of this group of children, from a lived-experience perspective. 15 ideas to help you feel stronger and more resilient, because your well-being is essential and if you feel better about yourself, you’ll find even the most challenging days of parenting easier to manage. It could well be that you’ve had to cope with being judged and blamed about your child’s behaviour, and if that’s happened it’s likely to have had a detrimental effect on your own self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth which will be making everything else much more difficult too. These 15 tips aren’t all going to resonate with everyone, but even if just one or two of them could help you, then that’s a couple more tools in your own well-being toolbox, and every little bit will help.
The Link Between Anxiety and Meltdowns
Difficult and dangerous behaviour in children with a disability or an additional need is almost always due to high levels of anxiety, which this group of children are more likely to experience. However, what is anxiety and how can it have such an enormous impact on a child’s mood, their behaviour and their general well-being? This will help to explain exactly what’s going on and why
The First Steps in Turning Around Your Child’s Behaviour
This is exactly what it says it is – some tips and approaches to getting started in helping your child to get back on track. It’s about moving away from the traditional parenting strategies and becoming the parent that your child needs you to be instead of the parent that everyone else wants you to be
What to do when your SEND child controls the whole family
SEND children with very high anxiety levels often become very controlling at home, and it’s one of those things that never gets talked about, so every family coping with this feels alone, isolated and they think they are the only ones who have a controlling child. In fact, it’s much more common than people think, and it’s incredibly difficult for everyone, including the child themselves, when it happens. This explains what is likely to be causing your child’s controlling behaviour, and also looks at what you can do to get your family back on track.
What we learnt from the SEND VCB Conference in April 2017
This was the first time ever that parents facing violent and challenging behaviour from their SEND children had come together and spent time talking through the issues. The notes that were taken and the things that were collectively shared were so powerful. This is just some of what we learnt on that very important and memorable day
After a Violent Meltdown – Avoiding Shame
Shame is a very heavy emotion for a small child to carry, and it can damage their long-term mental health. This explains what we, as the adults who care for them, can do to reduce the burden of shame on children who are already struggling emotionally.
Things to think about before restraining a child
There are so many difficult issues to consider about trying to keep your child safe when they are having a tough time emotionally. Many parents try to physically hold their child back when things are getting difficult. However, doing this can put you and your child at even more risk sometimes, and it can also escalate your child’s already heightened emotional state and make them even more distressed and frightened. This looks at the issues and may help you to work your way towards different options.
Screen-Time and SEND Children – How to get the balance right
SEND children often use their devices such as iPads, mobile phones or X-Boxes to self-regulate, and often want to be using them all day long and sometimes all night too. Asking a child or young person to come off the internet is also often a flashpoint of extremely difficult behaviour, and it can be a real source of conflict between parents and their children. This looks at why some SEND children want to spend so long on their screens, and has some great tips, approaches and ideas that may make this whole issue easier to manage.
Things to try when CAMHS can’t help?
It can be very difficult to access specialist mental health services for SEND children when they most need it. In some areas, the CAMHS waiting list can be over a year long, and some CAMHS teams won’t accept children who have certain types of additional needs. It can be very daunting for parents to try to manage their child’s mental health alone and unsupported, but this is the reality for thousands of families throughout the UK. Here are a few tips that might just help in this situation.
Pain and the non-verbal child
Children who are non-verbal may not be able to communicate that they are in pain, and sometimes, even when a parent is convinced that their child is really suffering, they cannot get professional staff onside and to see the situation as they do. There is nothing worse than a child in pain and a parent unable to get the help that the child needs. This looks at the issue and has some approaches that might help as well as some links to further information that can help you to access the right help and support for your child.
Nail-cutting tips for sensory sensitive children
Many SEND children, especially those with sensory processing differences, can be incredibly resistant to having their finger or toenails cut. A few years ago I asked parents from our community for their very best nail-cutting tips, and this is what they suggested.
Toilet training tips for SEND children
Many children with additional needs or disabilities take much longer to become toilet trained than their peer-group, and some may never reliably be able to achieve it. It can be a source of immense embarrassment to some children and can lead to some very stressful moments at home. A few years ago I asked parents from our community for their best toilet training tips, and here are their
Mental Strength & Emotional Resilience for Parents
Here are more ideas to help you feel stronger, happier and more resilient as a SEND parent. They might not all work for you, but just cherry-pick the one or two that might help and ensure that you use them for all-important self-care that often takes a very low priority in this community of families. Self-care is essential, and your child will benefit too if you look after yourself as regularly as you can.
Webinars for Parents of children
Webinars for Parents of children with additional needs or disabilities, with a focus on anxiety-led distress which can lead to difficult or dangerous behaviour. There are now 16 webinar topics, each one is described below. Please let me know if you have any suggestions of other issues that could be covered in future webinars.